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So on Wednesday this week I went for my interview at Target, and was offered a seasonal position for the summer. Yaaaay! The same day, I had to go and do a drug test, which involved peeing in a cup. I didn't really care and I knew I was clean so it's not like I had anything to worry about. I didn't really think it was a big deal.

I arrived at the clinic and had to fill out a sheet of paper with some info and then I went into the doctor's office a few minutes later. I don't know what the guy's deal was but he was incredibly embarrassed and nervous and jittery. He kept rambling to himself while he was giving me instructions. It was the weird how he kept looking at me and then staring at his paper. Like, had he never done this before or what? The way he was acting, it was like it was the first time he'd ever told someone to pee in a cup. He had to tell me several times "don't flush the toilet!" and then he had to make sure I didn't have anything in my pockets before I went in the bathroom to make sure I wasn't going to tamper with my urine, but I was wearing a dress so he just kind of went "Oh, you don't have any pockets. Ok." YOU DON'T SAY?

When I was done my business (it's a weird experience. I can't remember the last time I had to do it) I came back to the doctor's room and set the cup on the counter to wash my hands because the bathroom I was in didn't have a sink (again, to make sure I didn't try any funny business). The guy came back and told me, due to some silly policy or something, that I had to watch him pour the contents into two different phials. The whole time I'm just standing there with a pokerface,  but I was totally thinking "That's my pee. That's my pee. That's my pee. He is pouring my pee into that phial. Yup."

Then he sealed the contents in a bag and told me I was free to leave. Weirdest most awkward thing ever. And beforehand, my mom was driving me to the clinic and my dad had called to wish me "good luck" on my drug test. wtf dad. XD

And just today, my dad was talking about how with his various jobs he's had to pee in cups so many times. TMI DAD. TMI. Oh, but it gets better. "Sometimes they even had to watch me while I did it. Just standing there with my wangdoodle hanging out." DAD. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. NO. Sometimes my parents really surprise me. Like the other day when my mom was talking about how much "shit" she had to get done. I just kind of stared at her for a few moments like "did I really just hear her say that?" My parents rarely swear or talk about "inappropriate" subjects. They catch me off guard sometimes.

Anyway. That is my awkward story for now. Peeing in cups and parents being really awkward and giving me bad mental images.